


Baise toi

by sluttyeren



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Roommates, french jean kirschtein, german eren jaeger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:13:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sluttyeren/pseuds/sluttyeren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean and Eren are both studying abroad and end up living together. They do not get along. These boys should not live together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baise toi

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER I do not speak either of these languages so if the translations suck BLAME GOOGLE.

Studying abroad may just have been the worst idea Eren ever had. Not that the school was bad. Learning English as a second language hadn’t been too hard, at least not as hard as he had thought, and his classes were bearable. He really enjoyed being able to travel and see new things. He was from a tiny place and all the huge cities were exciting to him, so going to school in another country and getting to experience all of it was a blessing.

What Eren hadn’t really taken into account was living with someone who was a complete and utter asshole.

He couldn’t tell if it was because he was French, or if Jean Kirschtein was just a huge dick that happened to be French. He was insanely picky, and if Eren left even two things out of place it was guaranteed he would get screamed at. Jean was so fucking pretentious he could hardly stand it, it was like he was constantly looking down his nose at Eren. On top of it all, having a few inches of height to lord over him made him that much more condescending.  
  
He talked too much in his dumb accent and was just there too much and when Eren yelled at him to get out and get a life he would point out how much better his grades were and that would shut Eren up.  
  
But the night Eren came in to Jean playing some shitty French movie and refusing to turn the volume down, that was enough.  
  
“You’re such a selfish prick, Jean.”  
  
“I’m selfish? You’re the one who always leaves shit everyone and is constantly blabbering on the phone in German so fucking loud, so if I want to watch a movie I will, Jaeger.” Eren rolled his eyes, trying to block out the sound of his voice and the movie to focus on his work.  
  
“Schwachkopf…” Eren mumbled under his breath, rereading the last line as he struggled to focus through the noise and his anger.  
  
“Oi, what was that?” Of course Jean had heard it. He could never let anything go, yet another thing Eren hated.  
  
“Schwachkopf, not that you know what that means, französisch arsch.” Eren smirked down at his book, ignoring Jean even as he got up and crossed their small room. Then Jean grabbed the collar of his shirt and tore his attention away from the words he wasn’t comprehending anyway.  
  
Jean ignored his cries of protest even though they were in English.  
  
“I think you’re insulting me, petit pute.” Eren didn’t know French at all really, but he lived with Jean long enough to pick up on a few things.  
  
“Did you just call me little? Fuck you Jean!” He shoved his hands away from him, smoothing out the collar of his shirt where Jean’s grubby hands had pulled at it.  
  
“Je ne le préfère pas.”  
  
“Beenden verschrauben mit mir!”  
  
Now they were both standing, facing each other toe to toe and yelling. Neither knew what the other was saying, and soon they stopped caring altogether if it made sense. They were screaming just to scream at each other, fed up with living in this shitty dorm together, dealing with the other almost 24/7, without even the relief of weekends away from the place.  
  
Soon their yelling devolved into incoherent shouting and Eren was spewing nonsense, knowing that Jean wouldn’t understand anyway.  
  
“Sie gebeizt schinken!” He shoved Jean hard in the chest, pushing the taller boy away from him.  
  
“Baise toi, chien mouillé!”  
  
They stopped using words and instead argued with their fists, until Jean’s fist connected with Eren’s nose and he heard it crunch before he blacked out.

When he was conscious again, Eren blinked up at the ceiling slowly. He wasn’t in his bed, and he almost forgot what happened until the pain in his head reminded him. He brought a hand up to feel his nose and he felt gauze over it and winced when his touch sent a fresh wave of pain and nausea rolled over him.  
  
“Don’t touch that.”  
  
Eren sat up carefully, looking around from his spot on the floor. Apparently he was in his neighbor, Levi’s room. He finally spotted him sitting on his bed, writing something and not even looking at Eren as he sat up.  
  
“What happened? I mean, I know what happened, but how did I get here?” He rubbed his forehead gently, willing the throbbing to stop.  
  
“You’re idiot roommate dumped you here so he wouldn’t have to deal with you until he wasn’t so pissed off. So now I get to babysit.” Levi was a grad student, but not that much older, so ‘babysitting’ was a bit of an exaggeration. As Eren tried to stand without passing out from the pounding in his skull, Levi finally stopped writing to look up at him. “What were you even fighting about?”  
  
“I can’t even remember. We’re always fighting. We were yelling and I said something in German which made him mad, cause then he was yelling at me in French which pissed me off ‘cause I didn’t know what he was saying. He said something and I pushed him, so I guess he punched me.”  
  
“You know I speak French too, dumbass. What did he say?”  
  
“Um, something like ‘chien mouillé’? I don’t know. What??” Levi had started laughing.

“You really had your nose broken over being called a wet dog? You really are a fucking idiot. Well you’re awake now so get out. Go to the hospital or something and get your nose fixed. Just get the hell out of my room, bête.”


End file.
